Mastering the Dual Dynamics: Thriving as Both a Working and Stay-at-Home Mom

A huge topic of discussion is whether or not stay at home moms are even working and if it is considered a job. Let me just tell you being a mom of four who has done it all, from working 10-hour shifts, working overtime, to being at home part time while working part time, to being at home majority of the time. It is definitely a job. A job that has multiple jobs in one. 

A lot of people don’t understand what moms really do. Between taking care of the kids physically and mentally, house chores, marriage, self-care, finances, and building a business. It’s a lot to take on and you have to be truly dedicated to juggle it all. 

I am a stay-at-home mom who works in the morning. I’m able to get up early in the morning, go do my job and come back home and spend all day with the kids. It truly is a blessing, and I wouldn’t change a thing. The way the Lord has set me up to be able to be here for my family is such a blessing. 

But let’s be honest, there is a lot that comes with this life. Working and being a 24/7 mom has it’s up and downs.  So, in today’s post I want to touch basis on how we can thrive being a working mom and a stay-at-home mom. Let’s get into it!

Set Realistic Expectations

The first way I believe we can thrive is by setting realistic expectations. Everything is not always going to peaches and cream. Rarely is it ever. Between going to work and dealing with the little things that try to irritate you and coming home and dealing with kids arguing, their up and down emotions, and much more, it can feel like the days are long.

By setting realistic expectations we understand that we cannot make everything perfect. We can’t control everything and expect everything to be great all the time. Focusing on what truly matters can help take the pressure off. Leave work at work and navigate your day the best way you can at home.

This is understanding that each of the little humans you are raising have their own emotions, therefore do not come home from your job and think there will be no crying. There might be crying and a little uplifting you’re going to have to do.

Don’t over pack your day with a list of to-dos thinking you will get everything done. Again, we have little ones, and anything can happen to throw that to-do list right out the window. Be realistic about the season you are in, in your life and how to go about each day.

Have a Flexible Work Schedule.

The second way we can thrive is by creating a flexible work schedule. Some of us moms may not have the ability to be as flexible as we would like. But there are jobs out there that will work with you and the type of schedule you would need to have, so that you can be home with your kids. 

This may not be the dream job you’ve always wanted but we have to know what our priorities are in this moment. And the kiddos are a huge priority. They are only little for so long.

It might be a bit harder to attain but if you keep searching and praying eventually the Lord will answer your prayers and put you in a position where you can do both. I know moms who work from home a part of the day and be a mom the rest of the day. I know some moms who have to be a mom while also working at home and finding ways to work around her home life. 

I am also a great example of how some of us will have to choose the times when our kids are asleep to get our work done and then attend to the family the rest of the day. You have to find something that works for you. Again, it might seem impossible now but keep your faith and you’ll soon find yourself making it work and everything falling into place. 

It took years for me to be able to be in the position I am in now to serve my family but also bring in income to help support the family. I am grateful because it allows me to homeschool and be with my children while they are young. 

When I had my first two babies, I was dropping them off to be watched for 8-10 hours a day. I dreaded being away from them so long and felt I was missing parts of their life. Life was moving so fast and doesn’t slow down for anyone. So don’t lose hope and keep pushing, praying until you get to where you want to be. 

Time Management

The third way we can thrive being a working mom and stay at home mom is by having time management strategies. To be completely honest this is one of the areas I struggle in. I used to make an entire schedule where I would have each hour planned out. 

Let me tell you. That ended quickly. Now I choose the important things that I need to get done that day and do those first. So, house chores, homeschooling, and blogging just to name a few. It changes daily. 

A tip that I learned helps a lot is writing down what you plan to do the next day the night before, in a planner or journal. This will keep you on track to know what you have prioritized and make sure it gets done. 

You can also have a list of things you would like to do if you have the time. If and when you complete all the priorities, you can do the others. I would still only choose a couple or a few so that you’re not cramming up your day. 

Another tip you can create charts that tell you what days you will do certain house chores and hang it up somewhere you are always looking. For example, I have a chart hanging in my kitchen that tells me what I will clean every day of the week. Monday is bedroom and bathroom, and Thursday is mopping floors. So, every day has a different task. 

You can also use timers on your phone. Set a time limit for how long your task should take to be completed and do it in that allotted time. If your time runs out and you are not finished, you can schedule for the next day. This can work for quality time with your kids too. Although you may want to spend extra time with them. They are really what matters.

Everything is really based on you, your lifestyle, and the things you want to accomplish. 

Self-Care

The fourth way to thrive is by taking care of yourself. Realizing when you need a break, when you are overwhelmed, when you are not feeling yourself, or just dealing with so much you feel you can’t breathe. To keep you from even getting to this point, schedule in self-care. 

You are important too, and your family needs you at your best. It’s important for you to schedule time for just you. Whether that be 10 minutes doing breathing exercises, 20 minutes getting a workout in, going to the library, getting a bite to eat or your favorite coffee. There are so many things that count as self-care and as long as you are relaxing and enjoying yourself then you can add it to the list.

Self-care is not just you taking a shower, cleaning the house, or any other normal thing dads or anyone else gets to do. This is something just for you. Something that makes you happy. Now the tricky part is finding the time to squeeze this in. 

Life gets so busy that we sometimes forget about ourselves. So, this is where you will have to make sure it gets done. Whether that be putting a timer in your phone. Asking your partner to help out for 20-30 mins or however long you choose so that you can get some me time. Even getting it done once the kids are in bed or before they get up in the morning. 

It’s all up to you and your lifestyle. Make it work for you. 

Make Time for Educational & Personal Growth

The fifth way to thrive in mom/ work life is to make time for education and personal growth. Being at home majority of the time with the kids can make you feel like you are out of touch with the world and that you aren’t seeing any growth in your self. 

A way to fix this is to make time for personal and professional growth by listening to podcasts, taking some online courses that are self paced, or even reading books. I bet you’re reading this saying, “This lady is crazy. She wants me to add in self care and now try to better myself? With what time?” I know I know. I may sound crazy, but it’s definitely important. 

You know why it’s important? I’ll tell you. It’s important because you don’t want to lose yourself and who you are outside of being a mom. You want to continue to pursue and follow your passions even though you have little ones to guide now too. You have to be there to show them how to get through adversities and still hold onto who you are. 

This doesn’t mean that these tasks have to be hours long, it doesn’t even have to be 30 minutes. You can squeeze in 10 minutes doing something you love and 20 minutes adding to your personal and professional growth. I encourage you to continue to find time in your busy life to continue to grow and care for yourself. Again, it’s hard to help or lead others if you aren’t taking care of you. 

Knowing You’re Going to Be on an Emotional Rollercoaster

The last and final way we can thrive is addressing the emotional roller coaster of motherhood and working. Finding a balance can seem to be overwhelming but once you find it it gets easier. We as women are already emotional beings. So it takes more out of us to understand why we feel a certain way and how we can do our best to release that emotion.

I know I have mom guilt sometimes. When I am trying to work on my computer for the blog site or doing research for different topics. I feel I could be playing with my kids, cleaning, or cooking. I don’t know why I feel that way when we’ve spent 6 hours of our day together already. 

It’s almost like an inevitable feeling of I could be doing more. But in reality, I’ve done enough. I can spend the 15-20 minutes on what I need to without feeling guilty about it. If I even get that much time. With a 1- and 2-year-old it can get pretty difficult. 

But we shouldn’t feel guilty about it. Especially when we’ve been giving our kids our undivided attention. Those clothes that are always sitting there will get done one day and the kids can have some time to learn how to entertain themselves. It’s good for everyone.

Guilt isn’t the only emotion we might feel though. We could feel overwhelming joy or stress. Us moms can get stressed easily. Being pulled on all the time to help the little ones, trying to diffuse a disagreement or a tantrum, trying to take care of the house and much more. We have to have strategies to relieve stress.

Whether that be taking a time out to ourselves, breathing, exercising, writing, or listening to relaxing music for a few minutes. It’s okay to have all these emotions. How we handle them is what really matters. Find ways that work best for you. 

Conclusion. It’s possible.

In conclusion being a mom that works and is at home the majority of the time taking care of everything can make you feel like it’s too much to handle. I understand the feeling and just want to let you know that you’ve got this. Remember the big picture for why you chose to have kids and work. 

Pray and continue to lean on Him because He will help you through whatever the situation is. He knows what you can handle and what you can’t. You are the perfect person for the jobs.

 Yes, I said jobs because again being at home you have multiple jobs that others get paid for, but you don’t. Don’t be discouraged and continue to strive to be your best. Know that it will all work out. You got this mama.